My daughter Kelley phoned the other day to break the news that "Palin's daughter is pregnant!" I had so much trouble understanding her that I actually thought she said, "Have you heard Caitlin, your daughter, is pregnant?" I was so relieved to learn that it wasn't my daughter who was pregnant that I wasn't even irritated that this was the third day in a row that Kelley had found something with the McCain/Palin ticket to gloat about. However, after reading her blog this morning, I realize that my daughter needs to get back to her roots as far as insults go.
Sarah Palin's appearance on the cover of VOGUE seems to reinforce the slogan: Alaska: Coldest State, Hottest Governor. (She should suffer in the midst of pleasure!)Just a few days into the vice presidential nomination, and pathetic Sarah has already made Kelley's dreaded "fashion-crime" hit list. She was spotted at a grocery store in Wasilla dressed in a native-inspired outfit only someone in Alaska would wear. Even worse---she wears (gasp) glasses! Kelley is convinced that this is just a gimmick on the part of the governor to fool the public into thinking that she isn't a "ditz."
Come on, Kelley. Ditz? You can do better than that! Don't you know that if you can't say something nice, say it in Yiddish? It's so much more colorful and creative! What other language gives you an endless number of ways to tell someone to drop dead? Let me give you an example of a REAL curse: Let what I wish on her come true (most, even half, even just 10%). Or how about: She should be transformed into a chandelier, to hang by day and to burn by night.
Governor Sarah Palin should continue to be kvetch-worthy for a long time. Surely someone in the family has ripped a tag off a mattress, or put a glass bottle in an aluminum recycling bin. (My enemies should be as ugly as she is beautiful!)Kelley, the way this election is going, you are going to need all the put-downs you can accumulate. I recommend spending time with the language of your great-grandparents. When it comes to insulting someone who really needs it, like the shlemazl Sarah Palin, may you never be at a loss of words again. And should you ever feel the desire to pay me back for my helpful advice, don't do me any favors!
2 comments:
That picture is SO photoshopped - really funny actually.
Brandon wrote about this on his blog. I thought it was pretty good.
http://arandomstranger.blogspot.com/2008/09/women-and-sarah-palin.html
I wasn't calling her a ditz- I was saying that she is actually really pretty.
whatever... I'm so tired of defending myself when it comes to Palin. It's really sad though that you seem more cocerned about making Palin look good on this blog than you do your own daughter.
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